Most who know me are already aware of the fact that I tend to dream in technicolor. I have Doritos orbiting planets sometimes, or even pretend I’m Medusa herself, and while I don’t remember all of them I do remember quite a few. Such as the dream I had last night, which I feel compelled to tell you all about.
Last night, the Future Dark Overlord Himself decided to use his evil powers to get into my dreams. And it wasn’t in a fun way, either. We weren’t sitting back, talking horror stories, or discussing the latest stupid movie to cross the silver screen. No. I dreamt that I was back in Basic Frigging Training and Scott Sigler was my Drill Sergeant.
I was doing push-ups and he was screaming down at me, that little bald ball of charisma, telling me that my nose didn’t have enough dirt on it! And his horrible dog was chasing me through obstacle courses shouting to me in a frighteningly dog-like voice; “You slow down, Lady, and I’m gonna take a hunk out of that overgrown backside of yours!”
It was the Scott Sigler Crazies … and I can only imagine the Future Dark Overlord was enacting his powers, reminding me that The All Pro has been out for quite a while now and I still haven’t picked it up. I woke up horrified … HORRIFIED, I say … and fully believe that Sigler’s powers are growing. If you haven’t purchased his work yet, hurry over to his website and grab some, because I fear for my immortal soul that if you don’t, he’ll be chasing me through a mine-infested jungle tonight as I sleep.
There you go, FDO, I think I’ve done your bidding now.
Now drop and give me twenty. Times twenty.
…. This is the part where I whine that my arms are going to melt.