Insult to Injury

I graduated last month with honors.

Family gathered. I walked the stage (even though I felt a trifle out of place since I’d conducted all of my schooling online).  And then I took the rest of May off from writing and responsibility. There was much Game of Thrones to catch up with (still working on that) and many nights of actual cooking (yes, cooking, and I didn’t burn the apartment down).

I knew when June started that I was going to have to hit the grind hard to catch up on writing deadlines and what have you, but I felt I deserved the break. And then … last week … I decided to knife myself in the palm while wrestling with an avocado.

Yes, you read that right. Me and an avocado had a bout and I lost.

Yes, I know the proper way to get the core out of an avocado. (And if I didn’t before, I certainly do now thanks to family and friends sending me instructional video links.) But for one reason or another I didn’t do it the proper way this time. I was in a hurry or something.

The knife slipped off the core and stabbed right into my palm. It hit the bones. I know because I felt it.

Yes, you really do feel that when it happens. Writers take note: it’s a funny reverberating sensation, like hitting a long steel bar and feeling the shock rumble through it.

I drove myself to the ER — because that’s just me — and they gave me fun medicine and serious instructions on how to care for it. (Along with several more suggestions on the appropriate means of coring an avocado.)

However, I cannot feel two fingers in my left hand. This makes typing a bit of a bear. (Not to mention the wound is still healing so there’s that lovely pain on top of things.) With my publication schedule this year, and the writing schedule I had divvied out for myself way back in December, I find myself behind.

I mean, really, really behind.

It’s insult to injury.

Not only am I in pain, my pride is taking a beating thanks to my new-content deadlines being missed.

And all because I was in a hurry with an avocado.

Take it from me … it’s worth the time to do it right. If you must, use a spoon. Those avocado’s will get you.